doctor horrible meets alton brown
by charmander michael murray
Summary: in which dorctor horrible meets his idol alton brown! first chapter!
1. Chapter 1

doctor horrible meets alton brown

authors note: by the way you guys its important to know that i am not tryin to steal anyone's copyrights okay! dr horrible belongs to neil patric k harris and the joss whedon and those guys! alton brown belonds to alton brown and so does all his food! CHAPTER 1

one morning, i woke up and got out of bed to go make some food. making food is a thing that i like to do a lot. i got dressed in a shirt and some dark pants and also put my slippers on. the morning is pretty boring for me until i get into the kitchen! then i got into the kitchen. i decided to make some scrambled eggs so i got eggs and milk and butter and other things and i made the best scrambled eggs for myself to eat, but before i ate them i also added some hot sauce because i like it spiecy.. along with those i made rye toast with butter and jam.i ate all these foods with incredible gusto because i am passionate about my food and i guess other people's food too if they do it right!  
after i ate m y break fast, i heard a strange noise. there was a tapping at my kitchen window! my kitchen window was over my sink, and there was a noise coming from it. i looked toward the window to see a face! the face had goggles and blonde hair and also he was sort of pale and very handsome. at the moment i didnt quite realize he was so handsome becuase of the fact that he was being creepy at my window! but i decided to go over the window, and so i did. on the way i fed my fish in a fish tank their names are lucy and davy. i opened the window a little bit and the man with goggles said words to me.  
'hello, i am a villain, will you let me inside your house? i know you make good food i saw you i am hungry.' and i thought he may be a hobo! i have deep sympathy for hobos i always bring them things to eat when i have extra because i am a charitable man. my name is alton brown. also i shoulod probably not call them hobos because that is a very disrespectful term! i will refer to them as homeless people, and i thught the window man was maybe a homeless person. so i let him in. little did i know that he was... a VILLAIN!

END CHAPTER ONE


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO!  
authors note: this happens before the sing-along blog! you can tell because dr horrible is not well-known and also is more opimistic.

i was walking one day after i got up and i saw a house that i recognized to be alton browns house. 'incredible!' i said, because i was a huge alton brown fan! i wondered how i could go inside his house because i was a villain. but did i have nefarious intentons? i wondered about my intentons on the street in front of alton browns house. i did this for a while and then i thought i should go in the window. the window is a great place! i wanted to break the glass i tried to use my IRON KNUCKLe but was not strong enough to do it. my iron kNUCKLE! is not the most favrable of weapons or tools to use for anything because it was so small. so i climbed up on something and knocked on his window with my face also near the widnow in hopes that he would let me in and he did! we were both confused right then and i dont blame us frankly because that is a confusing situation to be iN which to be. i tried not to let him konw that i was a villain. i had my goggles on and also my sexy lab coat but i left my globes at home because my iron knuckle does not work well with my gloves it is too small. so i asked alton brown for some food even though i had my own food at home because i am a villain, haHA! my name is dr. horrible. so i ate some of his food and he watched, that was cool. i feel like we are becoming bros. i hope he doesnt find out im a villain!

END CHAPTER 2 


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 - "HEY these things might make good VILLAIN WEAPONS!"

authors note: the chapters will have titles now :33 also if you couldnt tell the pespective will alternate between dr brown and dr ohorrible for every chapter!

i saw the pale man with goggles and he was insi de my kitchen because i let him in! he was eating all my foods, like some of the ones in the fridge that i was going to use to make other foods. i almost stopped him from eating my pumpkin bread but then i said you know what its okay, i wasnt going to eat that pumpkin bread because itw as gross when i made it. i hope he doesnt think my cooking is gross because of that though!''' then we wanted to go on adventures because we bonded while we were both in my kitchen. we went to the mall and looked at shoes and he bought some very very shiny tall boots but htey were manly too, not lady boots. i really liked those boot sand maybe if i got to them before he did i would also have liked to have them instead of him having them! but thats okay because i found some really great ktichen shoes, they were meant for wearing in the kitchen and that's what i do. after the mall we wanted to go somewhere new an exciting! i said, why not venture into the strange and terrifying world of HOLLYWOOD?

END CHAPTER 3 


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

i had never been so happy because alton brown was my bro and we were totaly bros! it is really great because i have never had a best bro before except moist but moist is really sweaty and stuff and anyway we never really talk he just kinda hangs around my house and like wets up my stuff. mosit if youre reading this please stop wetting up my stuff okay so then after we went to the mall, because we weree on adventures! alton brown and i were on adventures. so we hend halds and crossed the streets and went on a road trip in his big car. his car was very nice, it had a 500 horsepower motor with like a semi stuff and it had lreather seats and also big headlights which i like on a car. so we went to HOLLYWOOD to be in TV! tv was a very exciting thing for both of is because we wanteed to be FAMOUS maybe wec ould have a tv show together ! but would it be about food o villainy? i heard about a big fancy superhero in hollywood named captain hamer and i didnt want to meet him because heroes hate villains and visa verca right? but that's okay, i was looking forward to our further adfventures! and just as i thought that to myself, they started! we were in the middle of the desert and POOF, we ran out of gas! this si a terrible thing but you know what, i am familiar wiht terrible things, its my middle name. so i used my van remote control to remote control his van (from INSIDE) (his car was a van) and we kept driving to holly wood also we started in like ohio or something i forgot. we kept having car crashes and it was very dramatic but everything was okay when we got to hollywood exceptw e had to abandon his car in a ditch. RIP car you wer a good car. wehn we got out of the car we did some really sweet bro-hugs and it was totally chill. we were so chill we were just going to enjoy all this jank in hollywood and maybe bro it up on BroTV! that is our tv station that i made up just now, but you know what? it turned into a real tv station and we were the star! its us!

END CHAPTER 4 


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTTER 5

authors note: now things will start getting exciting i swear

things started t oget exciting when we went to hollywood to be big tv starts! our tv show was called "bros" on brotv and we bro'd it up all the gosh darn time. we rode in hot air balloons sometimes. one day when we were chilling in our condo that we somehow got, isaid to my friend whose name i had not yet learned, hey bro do you want to go in a hot air balloon? and he was like yes! so yes! fore sure! so we went and got a hor air balloon to ride around california in. we tugged on the thing that makes us go up and we went up and ididnt notice the backpack on my friends back until he took a HUGE GUN out of it and started shotting villagers with it! and the villagers were EXPLODONG when they got hit with it and i twas very upsetting! "what are you doing," i said? "why would you explode all those innocent people"? i got very upset with him! and my frind (more like ex-friend at that point!) said to me, "muahahahaHA! i am doctor horrible and i am a villain! i will punch you in the face even though you are my best and only friend!" and he reared his arm back and i was so afraid i was going to get punch him in the face to me! i closed my eyes and he started laughing "do you really think i would punch my only ally? oh friend! mister brown we are forever bros! haha." and he kept shooting people. so i was like "nuh-uh! i wont let you shoot people! i dont want peopl to explode!" and i knocked the gun out of his hand and onto the earth which was very far bwlow us right then. and the gun exploded like CRAZY! it exploded super far and intense and killed like 100 people! i was even more upset and doctor horrible was not. what am i going to do about this man who is my friend and also a villain? maybe... *I* should become a villain toO!

ENG CHAPTER 5 


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6 - Problems in the big California!

we were starting to have some pretty big problems in our relationship! our best bro relationship i mean. thats all that was going on between us (authors note: suddenly you ship it!) so we had a thing in the hot air balloon where i was hooting a gun and he was all "no!" but you knw what? il ike shooting guns thats what i do! so cooking is waht you do maybe yhou should stick to that mister! i was pretty upset with him for interrupting me until my ray gun hit the ground and did a lot more rays to kill people faster than i was killing them before he knocked it out of my hands! it seems like his evasive maneuvern actually saved me a lot of trouble! so i thanked him and after i told him i was a villain for like the third time he was pondering something, i could tell. he sad on the floor of the hot air balloon and put his hand under his head in thought. so he pondered awhile and then said to me, "do you think we could be villains together? i am so ready to be a villain! a FOOD villain haha!" and i was like "yes so yes that is a great idea! we can be like a dyanmic duo who makes crime!" so we went to do crime together in the big city. we went to a rave and jammed to some totally sick beats while staying totally and completely sober from drugs because we like to keep our whole mental facilities faculties whenever we can in order to do maximum evil. maximum evil was in fact the name of our duo! we put it on some sweet jackets and wore the jackets. we wore the jackets to some raves and the raves were really cool there were lots of lights and really tired people and some really loud peopl;e and the music was so loud it made me feel really great about being a villain. and then when we were done rvaing we like killed all the people at thr ave because hahahhaHA! we are villains! this is awesome! i hope our collective villainy lasts forever and we are eternally bros who will live in infamy! forget about moist my old sidekick he was so lame my new sidekick is the best!

END CHAPTER 6 


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7 - who wants to even be a sidekick? someone wants the glory baby!

i was being a villain and feeling really great about it because haha i already had this glorious selection of knives and also like frying pans! cast iron is great for bashing in skulls of bank tellers when you go to rob them right? i mean we werent always kiilling people because we werent really that bad but we were pretty darn bad and correct me if im wrong but we looked pretty damn fine in our matching maximumm evil jackets. the jackets sometimes got kind of hot because it was summer in hollywood but it was okay because we washed them every day also we didnt really have other clothes to wear except pnatts. oh gosh! i wanted to be the star of our duo so i wanted to try to punch doctor horrible in the nose to establish my superiority. so i did! it was crazy! he bled a little and then he bowed at my feet and also kissed my feet and muahah! then we were the maximum evil duo starring alton brown and doctor horrible in that order and not the other order! i was going to do great things with my newfound power! i was going to go... to MARS! to do EVIL

end chapter SEVEN 


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8 - not so fast sir!

and suddenly i was s ide kick! how did this happen? i did not want to follow alton brown around and do all these boring things that he thought was villainous when I knew hot to do real villainy! so i plotted a plot to do something and change things. i was only tricking him when i accepted his superiority although his punch in the snout was certainly super effective and kinda mde me feel a little bit under him but you know what i am above hiM! h was the one who got him into villainy in the first place! so anyay my plot to change things went swimingly see i brought him to a fancy restaurant and then when we were starting to eat our food i grabbed his tie and pulled and he passed out! haHA! and then i dragged him back to the place and tied him up. then we did slaps i mean i did slaps on his face to make him be sad and like... try to get him to... accept hme as his leader. and he teared up and the tears wiped down his face like a big wet towel wiping down the face of a really dirty skyscraper. which is to say, his face was like covered with bloog and the tears cut thrugh the blood to make streaks. it was really desolate and upsetting. so i gave him this inuyasha blanket i don't even raelly remember where i got it but it works good for face-wiping and he wiped his face. but then i realized he got free from the ropes which is how he was using his arms! and then he punched me in the face and left the blanket over my face and the inuyasha face that was woven into the blanket was WAYY too close to my face and i was maybe bleeding a little i wasn't qute sure cause i was passed out maybe. and then when i woke up there was pee on the fllor and alton brown was gonE! AND HE TOOK MY GOGGLES THAT SON OF A JERK OH MY GOSH. I OUGHT TO PUNCH HIM IN HIS WEIRDLY HANDSOME FACE! i vowed REVENGE at this point!

END CHAPTER 8 


	9. Chapter 9

ChAPTER 9 - not my pee! that liar!

i just wanted to make it clear that even if my sidekick ties me up and makes my face bleed and even if i shed a few tears (PURELY FOR THE PURSPOSE OF DECIEVING HIM!) i will not pee my pants okay! that was definitely dr horribles pee on the floor! anyway i escaped and i took with me his super sweet goggles because the person who is the villain and not the sidekick, he is the one who should have the sweet goggles! and I am that person! so i went to reek some havoc (wreek, havok? sp?) and took his cool guns with me. there was a gun that would explode people like that one i exploded that one time wasn't that so cool? and there was anohter gun that made people super sad when you shot them with it and that is almost more villainous than killing peoplee! so i went to bros TV to be on our tv show again (we kept doin that for a while i forgot to say! it was cool) and i pointed the sad gun at the camera and EVERYONE IN THE WORLD got sad. awesome! and then i went to shot the president with a different gun, the "not president anymore gun" and i really wish i had a cooler name for that but i dont know. so i shot the president and he was like "okay bye then" and then I was the president! alton brown for president! that is what my campaign posters would hav said if i needed them but i didn,t' haha! so then i was president, i decided to do some cool villain things to change the world states of america. i passed a bill that everyone needs to use my recipes for all their foods! i have the best methods of cooking ! so then i made a lot of money off of cookbooks and president salary. i was a tillionaire and loving it! i bought somre reallly nice knives and chopped up some stuff to cook like i like to do. but one day the secret service guys were protexcting me and i was like "hey... you look familiar" and one of thes ecret service guys was DOCTOT HORRIBLE! HOW DID HE GET HERE? i didnt know what to do! i tried punching himin the face but he had a gun and i didnt! the other secret service guys were in cahoots with him! i gues no one was really happy about me being president but i was happy abut it until right then. then i started to regret soe choices that i made. and then this ensds on a cliff hanger where doctor horrible and his secret service minions are holdin guns at me! what will i do?

END CHAPTER 9 


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN - my stupid ex-side kick is a jerk! i dont care if he's the presisent!

i had president alton brown cornered in the middle of a circle of guns, haha! and i shot him with my gun because it was only a stun gun and he was stunned and then i handcuffed him like four times and took him to a room. and in the room it was like an interagation room where you ask people things and i said to him, "doy ou want to reconcile?" and he looked into my eyes with his eyes which were watery like before and pitiful and he said to me, "off COURSE i do!" so i ripped my goggles back off his head and said "well then i get to be the villain and YOU get t obe the sidekick!" and we agreed. and then we brohugged and brofisted and bro hugged again and it was went back to brotv and did some shows on how to be best bros and we bro hugged some more and then we went to the movies and made out and then we went back to our condo that we were somehow renting and it was really awkward. the next day we decided to go to MARS to do EVIL! we got in my evil spaceship and went to mars and it was pretty cold. we drank beers because we are grown ups and we can do that and we looked at the earth and it was very small and then we traced in the mars dirt, "DORCTOR HORRIBLE AND ALTON BROWN ARE BEST FRIENDS" when we went back to earth ,we looked up at the mars and saw our sweet graffitti and knew we were the best villains.

END CHAPTER 10 END OF PART 1 authors note: will there be more parts? I DONT KNOW! 


End file.
